First Day of Class

If anybody ever has to make a wind biscuit, please go out side.

Ap Econ

Debate on the fiscal viewpoints on Universal Healthcare is interrupted by the teacher. "Wait. Wait. Wait. Are you telling me you want the government to protect you and keep you alive? Annnnd give you free medicine? What is this Canada?"

AP English

AP English. Teacher: "Ok. Did anyone catch the sex scene in this chapter?" Students: "THERE WAS A SEX SCENE?!" Teacher: "Let's read it!"

Best Monday Quote

 Happy Monday class I hope you all enjoyed your weekened full of sin and revelry."

The Advanced Procedures of AP Chem

‎"Step one: Write your name on your paper. Step 2: Make sure your name is on your paper."

First Period

"Why are all of you so tired every mourning?
You know the secret to being well rested is going to bed at a decent hour, oh wait you need to stay up all night to finish your homework for my class.... Well so much for sleep."

In English Class

"Why is everyone so down today? Ohhh that's right, it's CAHSEE huh? And you guys shouldn't have to be here? Well you know what they say.... Life sucks and then you die"

Words of Inspiration

Wow class, we have 18 A's... Oh, thats far too many, we'll have to change that."

Talk on Literature in English

Does any one know what William Scott's greatest work is,..any one? Well it's Ivan HO, and no Ivan Ho is not a Russian prostitute.

In Econ

Right now you are being a detrimental externality. I know you want to be a positive one, but right now you are acid rain."

English Reading The Scarlet Letter

"Nothing in Hester's bosom, to make it ever again the pillow of Affection.' That's the book's version of 'Sexy talk'."

Health Class

" I'm protected by the union... I could wear a Bikini to school and no one could say anything about it."

Chemistry Teacher

"I have a giant imaginary six foot tall rabbit named Harvey who lives in my head."

Science Teacher

"Don't sit in Daddys' chair"

Terms of Endearment

"Turd ball"

Old Sixth Grade Teacher

"I fear for my daughter's future because global warming will probably end the world before she graduates high school"

Econ Teacher

" I feel really bad for you guys that collage prices are rising so much but it doesn't matter because the world's governments will probably collapse by then and the country will be in a state of anarchy.

Male Science Teacher

"I think I'll come in to school tomorrow in heels and a dress, and i'll come up to you and say, 'Do I look like your mother? Because it seems like I'm always cleaning up after you.'"

In weights class

"only eat something that you want to eat twice."